You’re going to want to be seated for this one, preferably somewhere private and removed from other, more rational members of society. There’s a trailer for a new Tom and Jerry movie — yes, the Tom and Jerry, the famous animated duo whose classic shorts were so casually racist that Warner Bros. eventually re-released them with a taped disclaimer from Whoopi Goldberg. But this isn’t your usual T&J, will-they-or-won’t-they-murder-each-other-or-just-kiss-already romp. If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Willy Wonka was great and all but man, it really needed the awkwardly shoehorned perspective of a cartoon cat and mouse,” then this movie trailer is for you.

…Which is to say that it is, without a doubt, for absolutely no one at all.

You may not know this (I certainly didn’t until I hit up my good friend, but studios didn’t stop making animated Tom and Jerry movies sometime in the ’90s, which is when you — along with the rest of sensible world — stopped paying attention to them. Not only have the famous frienemies continued appearing in films (all DTV, of course), but Warner Bros. has taken to sticking them in other classic stories, like The Wizard of Oz and a sequel, Back to Oz (written by Paul Dini of Batman fame; yes, for real) and, finally, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

As you can see in the mind-blowingly awful trailer above, this isn’t like, a mere reimagining in which Jerry takes on the role of Charlie and drags his rodent grandpa to a chocolate factory to visit an eccentric, reclusive candy-making genius, predictably reimagined as Tom the cat — oh no, friends, that is not what happens here. Instead, Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (that is the actual title) appears to be a shot-for-shot animated remake of the classic, 1971 film adaptation of the famous Roald Dahl book. It even has all the same songs! The only difference here is that Tom and Jerry follow the characters around and there’s an uncomfortably friendly oompa-loompa mouse who is way too enthusiastic about his job.

It’s as if someone thought it imperative to tell the real story of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, shining a light on the important characters who were tragically omitted from fictional history — and also sell some candy.

I have watched this trailer at least five times now and I am both morbidly fascinated and beyond baffled. Also, a friend who is similarly obsessed will not stop sending me the YouTube link, so I thought maybe if I wrote about it and forced other people to watch it, I could unburden myself. This is my cursed VHS tape from The Ring. You have seven days.